I've been working more and I have yet to figure out a new routine! And I tend to be a night owl and it's so hard to break that habit! My husband works 2 nights out of the week and a long time ago when he'd be at work I'd just stay up. So bad I know! Lil' Hunkie will be starting Pre K in August so I'm gonna have to figure out a new routine pretty quick! So I've been doing my studying at night and have been loving the She Reads Truth study on Ruth. Today is a She Shares Truth day, I missed the last one and wanted to join in this one since I've been loving the study!
And what I'm loving most is, the book of Ruth is not just about Ruth. It's so much about Naomi too!
God didn't leave her out, He wanted to redeem her too!
Naomi took a look at her circumstances and renamed herself. What she was looking at was what she no longer had, not what was in front of her which was a daughter in law so devoted to her that she'd die the same place as her mother in law.
I've done the same as Naomi. In every instance I was focused on what I didn't have.
Being single it was a struggle keeping my focus on God and not my singleness, having a miscarriage I wanted to focus on the loss instead of how big God was, and in motherhood I tend to let my failures keep me from the bigger picture, that I am a good mom regardless.
And in every one of those circumstances I renamed myself....Jennifer the failure.
But God knew my heart and just like He knew Naomi's heart...that part that still believed God is God no matter what....and He brought forth "treasures hidden in the darkness." (Isaiah 45:3)
While I was single I helped start my church's youth mission trip and spent most of my 20s going on that trip. That trip still goes on today! I actually get the team ready!
I didn't focus long on my miscarriage loss. God directed me to name our baby and I have testified about that at church. I then had someone come to me and tell me that she named her baby too and finally after 20 years she had peace. 20 years!
And motherhood, well I'm still a work in progress and that treasure is still being formed! But hearing "I love you momma", "I sure did miss you momma", "You're the best mom ever!" definitely keeps me thinking I"m Jennifer the good mom instead of Jennifer the failure mom.
To God, I am and will always be Jennifer My daughter, My servant.
And knowing that helps me keep my focus where it should be, that God is my Redeemer no matter what.
Happy Weekend lovelies!